cheapshitcondos.com

1224 Boren Ave.

This is a beautiful building on First Hill and definitely deserving preservation.

We at CSC weep to see it unfinished and in foreclosure, empty and no good to anyone when so many people who lived there must have been happy before being evicted for a condo conversion.

In the spirit of gambling we suggest a house sitting lottery. Maybe a bake off, pie eating contest or bingo tournament to allow people to live in and care for this lovely building. Who needs another empty condo. We are sure that buildings miss their tenants.

Maybe the nice gentleman Kevin will be so kind as to arrange such a competition

Cheers and best of luck! (We already know what we’re going to bake.)

2607 Western Ave

…Another medley building.

Burnt sienna? Mocha? Navajo beige? Stone that floats?Ahhh! I can’t decide… All of them, give me ALL of them!

Clearly this building is suffering from disease known as Mangoltberg’s Syndrome or Hesitantly Indecisive Disorder (H.I.D.) Scientists have been unable to agree whether this is a disabling or incapacitating manifestation or a disease. While contagion among humans has been reported, HID is most manifest in new condominium and townhouse construction.

Take the questionnaire to see if you are suffering from H.I.D.

6801 Greenwood Ave. N.

The multi-color craze spreads to Phinney Ridge. When you can’t decide on your favorite color, just use them all.

Daffodil, sage, daffodil, sage, “brick,” . . . repeat.

This mixed-up behemoth looms over Greenwood Ave. like a windblown spore from Belltown.

OMG, it’s a pandemic!!

745 Bellevue Ave. E

The Facadio is more like it. It looks like stone, ’till you knock on the facade, only to realize it’s made of delicious Italian nougat and rice cake. You can snack on it while waiting for the bus.

You’ve got the aqueduct archways, Rapunzel tower and Embassy Suites attachment.

We’re all for roof top decks, eaves and balconies, but this is quite a Mediterranean medley.

Like a sweaty uncle at the wedding who won’t button up his shirt and wears a lot of cologne, it’s heavy on the grope.

We’ve been groped by an Italian nougat building… That’s a whole lot of wrong.

415 W. Republican St.

A hefty piece of the Death Star fell out of orbit to land in Queen Anne.
It narrowly missed the tiny house next door.

Now in Seattle, this building offers stern looking corrugated siding, and tough squinty windows for discerning members of the Galactic Empire. This substation boasts fetching interiors with a formidable array of turbolasers, tractor beams, trash compactors, as well as all manner of detention blocks and interrogation cells.

The building has easy, smooth walkways for convenient android access.

2960  Eastlake Ave E.

Ruby – “Life Sparkles Here.”

Yeah, so does the air with I-5 car exhaust.

Move-in special includes ruby red earplugs to blunt the ocean sound of freeway traffic.

Is it the grand opening yet?

• Corrugated metal facade…? Check!

• Corporate color scheme…? Check!

• Naked concrete…? Check!

No detail has been overlooked, bring on the sandwich boards and balloons.

Life under the bridge is sooo urban.

4341 8th Ave. NE

Cheapshitcondos spotted this building on a trip through the University District.

Completely taken aback by it, we believe that we have found the ugliest newly constructed building in Seattle.

Yes, we know it’s a rental, but still…

We dare you to find worse…

Good Luck!

2504 Western Ave.

Welcome to Silo 17.

This condo is the diminutive cousin of the larger Site 17 condos across the street.

The little condo that couldn’t.

Forlorn and alone, it stands weeping rust down it corrugated facade.

621 5th Ave. N

If a condo itself ever needed some Paxil to fend off the pervasive sense of “blah”, this might be a good candidate.

Although the owners might want some Prozac lying around when they have to pay their monthly mortgages.

These condos start at $270,000.

Hardwood composite tile floors are an extra $12,000. OMFG…

The motor-inn façade might one day lend itself to yet another conversion. Perhaps a motel, The Seranalodge.

You can check in anytime, but you can never leave.

108 5th Ave S.

The nice thing about these condos is the fire department is conveniently located right across the street, so go ahead and smoke in bed.

The downside is you have to pay to park in your front yard…

Ok, so…what are the chutes for?

• built-in pigeon coops
• escape hatch
• battleship canons for the neighborhood
• convenient garbage disposal
• beauty…?

We don’t know. You decide…