OMG! We totally saw this cardboard and red rubberband building kit on Etsy. This must be the beginner’s building set.

We suggest one or two more giant rubberbands to keep the boxes from falling into the neighbor’s yard.

We do hope it is easy to move, maybe folds up for convenient shipping, because it was obviously delivered to the wrong address.

Buy this at auction and take it away. It’ll be your New Year’s gift to the neighborhood.

Developer: Essex Broadway LLC
Architect: Matt Driscoll*

Broadway’s going beige and soon to be renamed Belltown Hill.

Here’s one side of the new condos across the street from Brix, and what we have to look forward to in the future.

Yes, something needed to be built on the lot, but why for the LOVE OF GOD is it so ugly?

Must buildings get uglier as they get taller? The bottom is a basic brick and then comes the super chintzy siding in a hodgepodge of colors.

What would happen if it were even taller, each section uglier?

Year round plastic sheeting on the top floors?

Bud billboards, nail salons, LED reader boards?

I know! I know! Condo ads!

Much like the sad mobile ads on Broadway for some Columbia City condo gem. The only way to make a mobile business good, is to sell something delicious that fits through the window (not condos).

*”If you’re worried that Capitol Hill will become the next Belltown, fear not, Driscoll Architects are on the job.”

Yeah, right.

Developer: unavailable

Architect: Weber + Thompson

Quality contemporary design.

See, it can be done.

You’d think it was rocket science . . .

Developer: Schnitzer West / Architect: Mithun

Gallery condominiums – 2911 2nd Ave

Developer: Schnitzer West / Architect: Mithun

Twenty-Five on the Park condominiums, (unfinished) – 1800 11th Ave

Developer: The Dwelling Company / Arctitect : hiding

Auction Madness!! Bargain Insanity!! All Out Bidding War!!

So what went wrong here, developers? From super slick, pseudo-neighborhood ads to minimum wage, plastic auction arrows?

Boring? Overpriced? Speculation? Gambling addiction? Chicken bingo? Pull-tabs? Booze? What . . . ?

Still . . . we humbly admit to finding the exterior of these condos barely better than some of the high-larious atrocities the city is stuck with, i.e Veduta, Montage . . .

But, maybe it’s not the economy. Maybe we’re just not that into you.

Developer: Urban Seattle LLC

Architect: Urban Seattle LLC

It’s just amazing what you cannot do with paint and corrugated metal.

You cannot turn a 1950′s motel lowrise into “live urban.”

You cannot obscure the fact that what it really needs is a little swimming pool, an ice dispenser, a Coke machine and a sign promising free HBO.

It’s just amazing what you cannot buy for $299,950.

Developer: Murray Franklin

How’s that Pike/Pine lifestyle working out for all of you?

By now, many of you know how this story goes.

Once there was a great historic block of bars, small shops and no Cingular, Subway sandwiches, Starbucks, suburban sprawl ugliness etc…

All was torn down to make way for condos for people to enjoy what was demolished. (Sigh.)

Now two years on and counting… (The developer must be waiting for the cheapshit condo market to rebound.)

We at CSC request that the city government climb out of the developers’ pockets to show some love to the neighborhood by requiring the developer to turn this space into an area for terrific public use.

We suggest that the developer provide an area where bands and free BBQ could be enjoyed on weekends. During the months of inclement weather a geodesic dome could provide shelter.

In addition, a portion of the area should be a p-patch garden.

The mayor’s number is: (206) 684-4000. His name is Greg and he’s waiting to hear from you.

Occasionally we come across a building that is a rental, but is so ugly and poorly designed that we have to include it here.

Although, we suspect that it was intended to be a condominium, it’s not any more reasonable as a rental as some of these apartments rent for over $2000 a month. ‘cough, cough’

We guess that the developer was inspired to dumpster dive through the Trader Joe’s garbage next door and ferret away empty boxes and egg containers to use as building materials.

That is the only apparent explanation for the look of the exterior of this building.

According to some reviews of the building, the inside has fared no better.

The Facadio is more like it. It looks like stone, ’till you knock on the facade, only to realize it’s made of delicious Italian nougat and rice cake. You can snack on it while waiting for the bus.

You’ve got the aqueduct archways, Rapunzel tower and Embassy Suites attachment.

We’re all for roof top decks, eaves and balconies, but this is quite a Mediterranean medley.

Like a sweaty uncle at the wedding who won’t button up his shirt and wears a lot of cologne, it’s heavy on the grope.

We’ve been groped by an Italian nougat building… That’s a whole lot of wrong.

With no expense spared, the building is enveloped in luxurious, beige vinyl siding.
Other than the fact that the roof line looks like Castle Greyskull, these condos are priced to move!

Dear Press developers,

Auction?!

You suck.

Haha!