Tag Archives: seattle developers

Joule apartments and condominiums

523 Broadway Ave. E.

Developer: Essex Broadway LLC
Architect: Matt Driscoll*

Joule

facing_broadway

facing_harvard


Broadway’s going beige and soon to be renamed Belltown Hill.

Here’s one side of the new condos across the street from Brix, and what we have to look forward to in the future.



Yes, something needed to be built on the lot, but why for the LOVE OF GOD is it so ugly?

Must buildings get uglier as they get taller? The bottom is a basic brick and then comes the super chintzy siding in a hodgepodge of colors.

What would happen if it were even taller, each section uglier?

Year round plastic sheeting on the top floors?

Bud billboards, nail salons, LED reader boards?

I know! I know! Condo ads!

Much like the sad mobile ads on Broadway for some Columbia City condo gem. The only way to make a mobile business good, is to sell something delicious that fits through the window (not condos).

*”If you’re worried that Capitol Hill will become the next Belltown, fear not, Driscoll Architects are on the job.”

Yeah, right.

Residences at 500 Elliott

500 Elliott Avenue

Developer: Equity Residential® Condominiums

Architect: witness protection program

500 Elliott

Welcome to the Seattle accordion condos, the Residences at 500 Elliott.

This unmusical building lets out an ugly tone when you squeeze it, something like an emission and a cat screeching at the same time.

This might also be the largest “oops paint” building we’ve come across. May we suggest avoiding turquoise and salmon.

The name “Residences at 500 Elliot” strikes us as a bit misguided. We prefer “The Folds at 500 Elliot.”

Buyers: Retro gamers and your kids might like it. The street and building closely resemble the game Frogger.

Don’t get squished!

224px-Frogger_game_arcade

Marselle condominiums

115 Aurora Ave N

Developer: Norcon/Sierra

Architect: gulag

Marselle condos You have now entered the Grey Zone.

Nouveau Cold War style. A block of severe housing for the people.

Don’t fret comrade, although the prices are not for mere proletariats. . .

There are some 345 sq ft. cheap seats at only $150,000.

View the grandeur of the citizenry on their dutiful way to work along the modern marvel of Highway 99. Check out the Ordinary Diet Cafeteria at the comrade quikee mart on the corner and throw back some vodka on your way to the Seattle Cleansing Department.

Na zdorovje!

P.S. Spot the only thing that’s not grey in this picture.


Loft 42 condominiums

6547 42nd Ave SW

Developer: Urban Seattle LLC

Architect: West Ventures LLC

Loft 42 street

Street View

Loft 42 alley

Alley View


bland (blænd) – adjective, -er, -est.

1. lacking in special interest, liveliness, individuality, etc.; insipid; dull.

va·nil·la (və-nĭl’ə) – adjective

1. lacking adornments or special features; basic or ordinary.

vex (věks) tr.v. vex·ing

1. To annoy, as with petty importunities; bother.
2. To cause perplexity in; puzzle.
3. To bring distress or suffering to; plague or afflict.

bum·mer (bŭm’ər) -adjective slang

1. Of poor, wretched, or miserable quality; worthless.
2. Disappointing; unpleasant.

We visited West Seattle. Good thing we had our pocket dictionary with us to get past our loss for words. Even the 1950s house next door looks stunned. Well, it is a lot of down-tempo green.





Discovery Place condominiums

4309 34th Avenue W

Developer: James Paul Jones

Architect: James Paul Jones

Discover Place condos

Discover pale beige! Discover the bunker lifestyle!

We find this building a little martial and scary, and wonder if it goes underground for seven stories and is filled with nuclear secrets and code breakers working round the clock.

It also looks like a military pre-school.

They were going to have “T” for terrible in the front but they ran out of little windows.