Tag Archives: cheap shit condos

Ruby condominiums

2960  Eastlake Ave E.


Ruby – “Life Sparkles Here.”

Yeah, so does the air with I-5 car exhaust.

Move-in special includes ruby red earplugs to blunt the ocean sound of freeway traffic.

Is it the grand opening yet?

  • Corrugated metal facade…? Check!

  • Corporate color scheme…? Check!

  • Naked concrete…? Check!

No detail has been overlooked, bring on the sandwich boards and balloons.

Life under the bridge is sooo urban.


Site 17 North condominiums

2504 Western Ave.


Welcome to Silo 17.

This condo is the diminutive cousin of the larger Site 17 condos across the street.

The little condo that couldn’t.

Forlorn and alone, it stands weeping rust down it corrugated facade.

Serana condominiums

621 5th Ave. N


If a condo itself ever needed some Paxil to fend off the pervasive sense of “blah”, this might be a good candidate.

Although the owners might want some Prozac lying around when they have to pay their monthly mortgages.

These condos start at $270,000.

Hardwood composite tile floors are an extra $12,000. OMFG…

The motor-inn façade might one day lend itself to yet another conversion. Perhaps a motel, The Seranalodge.

You can check in anytime, but you can never leave.

Tobira condominiums

108 5th Ave S.


The nice thing about these condos is the fire department is conveniently located right across the street, so go ahead and smoke in bed.

The downside is you have to pay to park in your front yard…

Ok, so…what are the chutes for?

  • built-in pigeon coops
  • escape hatch
  • battleship canons for the neighborhood
  • convenient garbage disposal
  • beauty…?

We don’t know. You decide…

Tribeca condominiums

17 W. Mercer St.


Is that front door a wormhole to Manhattan?

…Because I know this CANNOT be TriBeCa.

If it is a wormhole, I’m scoring a payday loan at the convenient Checks Cashed, having my bangs trimmed and getting a foot-long sub for the trip.

This is great, ’cause I hate to fly.