Tag Archives: Capitol Hill

Viva Apartments

Developer: Alliance Residential (Phoenix, Arizona)

Dave Knight, development manager at Alliance

Architect: Mrs. Johnson’s 5th grade class

Viva apartments

 

Viva, can you feel the excitement…?

Can you feel the cutting edge of the big brown slice?

It cuts so deep the developers had to reapply for design permits.

We wonder how many pages it took to say less windows and more brown corrugated shed covering.

Or perhaps, the sad brown is just primer. What color do you think they’re really going to paint it?

For future reference to developers, and for the love of God, Cap Hill is not a place.

It’s Capitol Hill.

 

 

 

Summit Condos

900 Summit Ave E

OMG! We totally saw this cardboard and red rubberband building kit on Etsy. This must be the beginner’s building set.

We suggest one or two more giant rubberbands to keep the boxes from falling into the neighbor’s yard.

We do hope it is easy to move, maybe folds up for convenient shipping, because it was obviously delivered to the wrong address.

Buy this at auction and take it away. It’ll be your New Year’s gift to the neighborhood.

Joule apartments and condominiums

523 Broadway Ave. E.

Developer: Essex Broadway LLC
Architect: Matt Driscoll*

Joule

facing_broadway

facing_harvard


Broadway’s going beige and soon to be renamed Belltown Hill.

Here’s one side of the new condos across the street from Brix, and what we have to look forward to in the future.



Yes, something needed to be built on the lot, but why for the LOVE OF GOD is it so ugly?

Must buildings get uglier as they get taller? The bottom is a basic brick and then comes the super chintzy siding in a hodgepodge of colors.

What would happen if it were even taller, each section uglier?

Year round plastic sheeting on the top floors?

Bud billboards, nail salons, LED reader boards?

I know! I know! Condo ads!

Much like the sad mobile ads on Broadway for some Columbia City condo gem. The only way to make a mobile business good, is to sell something delicious that fits through the window (not condos).

*”If you’re worried that Capitol Hill will become the next Belltown, fear not, Driscoll Architects are on the job.”

Yeah, right.

Auction condos, (because) our prices are insane.

Brix condominiums – 530 Broadway E

Developer: Schnitzer West / Architect: Mithun

Gallery condominiums – 2911 2nd Ave

Developer: Schnitzer West / Architect: Mithun

Twenty-Five on the Park condominiums, (unfinished) – 1800 11th Ave

Developer: The Dwelling Company / Arctitect : hiding

Auction condo panel copy

Auction Madness!! Bargain Insanity!! All Out Bidding War!!


So what went wrong here, developers? From super slick, pseudo-neighborhood ads to minimum wage, plastic auction arrows?


Boring? Overpriced? Speculation? Gambling addiction? Chicken bingo? Pull-tabs? Booze? What . . . ?


Still . . . we humbly admit to finding the exterior of these condos barely better than some of the high-larious atrocities the city is stuck with, i.e Veduta, Montage . . .


But, maybe it’s not the economy. Maybe we’re just not that into you.

Mode condominiums

752 Bellevue Ave E

Developer: Urban Seattle LLC

Architect: Urban Seattle LLC

Mode condos

It’s just amazing what you cannot do with paint and corrugated metal.

You cannot turn a 1950’s motel lowrise into “live urban.”

You cannot obscure the fact that what it really needs is a little swimming pool, an ice dispenser, a Coke machine and a sign promising free HBO.

It’s just amazing what you cannot buy for $299,950.