Tag Archives: boring

Thornton Place condominiums

337 Northeast 103rd Street
Developer: Stellar Holdings and Lorig Associates
Architect: Mithun

Is there a word for failing before you begin?

If that’s your investment strategy, buy here first.

‘Cause you will be the first.

We can’t image why there haven’t been flocks of takers with all that extra-terrestrial IUD yard art.

Maybe it’s time to rebrand the project.

May we suggest:

Tangerine Towers, Mall View Condos or Muted Heights.

McGuire Apartments

210 Wall Street

Developer: Carpenter’s Tower LLC

Architect: in hiding

Local papers report:

Developer Surprised That Rock Bottom, Cheap-Assed Construction Doesn’t Last.

That’s right, so badly constructed, it’ll be torn down this year.

This tower of low standards and quick money was constructed in 2001 and is soon to be demolished. We at CSC hate to see people tossed out in the streets because their building is coming apart and hope everyone gets loads of compensation, free-packing services, kegs for moving day and a year’s worth of massage.

Cheapshitcondos is taking bets on the next building(s) to follow.

(A note to the builders: Waterproof grout is essential in Seattle.)

Columbia City Condos

5220 42nd Ave. S.
Developer: 20th Century Development
Architect: n/a
Colombia City Condos

This is a very depressing building.

Really, this looks like class C office space heavily sprayed with textured pancake make-up relabeled as a condominium. We feel like we’re going to hear a dental drill.

We would like to point out that at some time the vinyl sales flags and the plastic Christmas bunting will be removed. Take a good look at what will be left. (Can you hear the drill?)

But the upside is there’s a tour bus so you don’t have to stay home.

coming!

Advertising menace.
It will find you.

Coming . . .

going!

and going . . .

Vine condominiums

2607 Western Ave

vine-condos

…Another medley building.

Burnt sienna? Mocha? Navajo beige? Stone that floats?Ahhh! I can’t decide… All of them, give me ALL of them!

Clearly this building is suffering from disease known as Mangoltberg’s Syndrome or Hesitantly Indecisive Disorder (H.I.D.) Scientists have been unable to agree whether this is a disabling or incapacitating manifestation or a disease. While contagion among humans has been reported, HID is most manifest in new condominium and townhouse construction.

Take the questionnaire to see if you are suffering from H.I.D.