Category Archives: Downtown

Marselle condominiums

115 Aurora Ave N

Developer: Norcon/Sierra

Architect: gulag

Marselle condos You have now entered the Grey Zone.

Nouveau Cold War style. A block of severe housing for the people.

Don’t fret comrade, although the prices are not for mere proletariats. . .

There are some 345 sq ft. cheap seats at only $150,000.

View the grandeur of the citizenry on their dutiful way to work along the modern marvel of Highway 99. Check out the Ordinary Diet Cafeteria at the comrade quikee mart on the corner and throw back some vodka on your way to the Seattle Cleansing Department.

Na zdorovje!

P.S. Spot the only thing that’s not grey in this picture.


Tobira condominiums

108 5th Ave S.

tobira-condos

The nice thing about these condos is the fire department is conveniently located right across the street, so go ahead and smoke in bed.

The downside is you have to pay to park in your front yard…

Ok, so…what are the chutes for?

  • built-in pigeon coops
  • escape hatch
  • battleship canons for the neighborhood
  • convenient garbage disposal
  • beauty…?

We don’t know. You decide…

1521 Second Avenue condominiums

1521 Second Ave.

Cheapshitcondos received this press release from a law office. We don’t know anything about this case, nor do we feel any particular compassion for the “confident few,” but we are posting this PR anyways.

Leave comments.

At least the “confident few” won’t be afraid to get some urban livin’ with smoky teryaki on the corner, casual dinner at The Turf, frequent the mega stripclub behind the building or score some drugs just steps away from their front door.

PRESS RELEASE

The developer claims it built an elite, high-end condominium project. Eight buyers have now sued that developer, saying that their units have entrances that are less than high end, and lower than promised.

The buyers filed suit today in King County Superior Court, seeking return of their deposits and damages against Opus, a major northwest developer. Opus is finishing the high-rise condominium project at 1521 Second Avenue in downtown Seattle .

The condominiums are “designed exclusively for the confident few,” according to Opus’ literature. The website refers to “unparalleled interiors,” and “generously proportioned” spaces. Prices start at $1 million, and prices for upper units exceed $4 million. The project has 148 units on 38 floors.

The buyers allege that Opus and its “development partner,” William Justen, specifically promised 8-foot doors and high ceilings. The entries to the units in question now have 7-foot doors and ceilings as low as seven feet. The complaint alleges that the changes breached the contracts for purchase of the units. It seeks return of deposited funds and unspecified damages.

…blah, blah, blah.

For the price tag on these condos, we at Cheapshitcondos not only want another damn foot on our doors, but insist on a firepole, a helipad, and a jet pack. Thank you, and please don’t make us suin’ mad.