Category Archives: Downtown

Olive 8 condominiums

737 Olive Way, Seattle, WA

Developer: RC Hedreen

Architect: Mulvanny G2

Cheapshitcondos had a tour of the soon to be auctioned Olive 8 condominiums.

We were lured by the offer of “an enviable lifestyle on your own terms.” Enticingly, our own terms were to be auctioned with a starting bid of $160,000. Now that’s a cheap seat! Perusing the fine print, we were perplexed to learn that each property has “an unpublished reserve price” which is not the starting bid. This left us wondering, just what is the starting bid? Oh right, it’s the bait.

We had a good look around the 27th floor, admiring the views which can be spectacular, unless you happen to be kissing distance from Ma Bell’s telephone tower to the left.

We viewed units with square footage from about 650 to 1200 sq. ft., but were surreptitiously warned in the fine print that “square footages. . . may vary and are approximations only, based on the most accurate information available.” We were at once reassured that we know five hundred square feet when we see it, but certainly alarmed that the people trusted with building a high-rise could not successfully wrangle a tape measure. The most startling clause in the fine print stated that “models throughout this brochure do not reflect racial preference.” There weren’t any people in the brochure. WTF?

The largest corner units were spacious with grand views and imposing marble kitchen islands. However, the smallest units might require a regular regiment of Prozac to deal with feelings of confinement, windowless bedrooms and a mind-boggling waste of space particularly in the overlarge half bathrooms by the front door. Really, what are you going to do in there?

This condo is miles better than the worst offenders, holding LEED Silver Certification and a prime downtown location, yet it’s going on auction. Economy? Yes. Uninspired mediocre designs trading on views? Yes. It could have been so much better.

The building does have a nice nighttime mood ring on the roof line. Red, stressed. Blue, Prozac. Green . . .

Escala condominiums

1920 Fourth Avenue

Developer: Lexas Companies

Architect: Thoryk Architecture

Something-is-changing-at Escala-dot-com…could it be the ownership?

So when the bank owns your condo tower, do you get free checking? Just sayin’.

Do they have a basket of lollipops at the door and somebody waiting to ask us about our weekend?

I’m sure the views looking out are fantastic, but the views looking at, not so much. The glass tower plopped onto the faux Grecian Vegas facade is not the sort of enduring architecture dreams are made of. Design really can be better. Proof.

Lusty Lady, Bone Voyage!

1315 1st Avenue

The menage à trois with the pressing condos is coming to an end.

Is it too much to ask that this building not be torn down?

We realize this is some seriously valuable air above waiting to be lego-ed in with a skinny condo or pop out neighbor expansion. Still, we vote for a slice of light and some historic personality. How about it Seattle? Don’t kill the little building, she holds many fond mammaries and great tails.

Sure, the developers want to fill that slot with a steel rod building. Not to put a kink in those plans, but we want to feel respected.

Come on DPD, stand firm, don’t let us down.

Bone Voyage!

The hole.

Second and Pine St.

The hole

Another resplendent condo project gone belly up. From a parking lot to a mega-hole, and back to a parking lot (soon). Will there be another hole?

Wouldn’t it be great if instead of reverting to a parking lot, we had a below grade zen garden or fabulous sculptures a la Olympic Sculpture Park?

So, the luxuriously snoozy condo project isn’t happening. Okay Seattle, now is the time to be interesting, world class interesting. What do we really want downtown?

Seems we’re not that interested in another pseudo-lux, shiny but common building.

In the interim, since reality TV is all the rage, we suggest the show, What Can You Get Down That Ramp?!!, and it’s sister show, What Can You Get Up That Ramp?!!